Have you been hurt by a church? If so, you’re not alone. As a pastor of a church, I’ve heard stories from people who have found church confusing, contrarian, or even damaging. Not every church hurts people, but most churches have hurt someone at some point. Some people are hurt through their own mistakes, others because of sin committed against them, and still others because of failed leadership. This reality can leave them reluctant to re-engage, afraid of being hurt again, wanting to protect themselves, and questioning the place of church in their lives. The good news for the hurting is that God has spoken to your pain in the Bible. Most of the writing in the New Testament about how to live in a church exists because the church has never been perfect. Most, if not all, of the letters were written to solve problems in the church: Galatians to solve legalism (Galatians 1:6–7, 3:1–3, 4:9, 5:1). Colossians to solve heresy (Colossians 2:4, 8). 2 Timothy to solve tension i

Leaders often succumb to the temptation to make everything about them. It is about their goals, their career and their recognition. They become a selfish leader. But God has called us to be a different type of leader. God has called us to be stewards of people. And rather than take from our team, He has called us to give ourselves to our team. He has called us to be generous leaders. But what does that look like? Let’s look at seven of the most common sins of selfish leaders and how to overcome them: Relishing the spotlight. Instead, give credit. Point to others. A leader’s success is never about him. It is about them. While it is easy to soak in the praise of others, give credit where credit is due. Remember their success is your success. Skimping on pay. Instead, give a fair salary. Don’t intentionally underpay those you oversee. Don’t take advantage of a person’s naiveté. Do the best you can when you can. And when you can, err on generous pay. Limiting authority

4. There Is a Spiritual Cost. The more influential you become as a leader, the greater the intensity of spiritual attack on your life. (By the way … I’ve had shots taken at me for saying this, but it’s true. I’ve experienced it personally … and in the Scriptures, we see in Acts 19 a demon literally having a conversation with seven guys … he tells them he knows Jesus and has heard about Paul, probably because he was causing such a disturbance, but then he tells the guys that he hadn’t even heard about them!!! Like it or not … the enemy doesn’t pursue everyone with the same intensity.) You will experience spiritual warfare. You will encounter temptation on a level that is greater than anything you could imagine. You have to be willing to fight the fight and pay the price if you want to be a godly leader. 5. There Is a Personal Cost All of the things listed above come around to this … there IS a personal cost when it comes to leadership. It will NEVER cease to affect

Jesus gave some INCREDIBLE advice in Luke 14:28-30! Today, we will dive into five areas where we need to be willing to pay the price as a leader. 1. There Is a Financial Cost. Books cost money. Conferences cost money. Putting yourself in a position to be stretched and grown cost money. AND one of the qualities that I’ve always noticed in leaders who were “getting it done” is that they were personally willing to pay a financial price. 2. There Is an Emotional Cost. Leading in the church is one of the most emotionally draining things you will EVER do. You will discover that you can go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows with one email or phone call. Your heart and motives will be called into question. Critics who don’t know you (and don’t want to know you) will malign, misrepresent and attack you. On most days, you will feel overwhelmed and unworthy of your calling … and all of this requires that we be willing to pay the price emotionally.

Terminate with compassion. Almost without exception, the pastor is terminated. But termination does not have to be without compassion. The pastor’s family will need financial provisions; thus, many churches provide compassionate severances. And though pastors have full responsibility for their sins, they are hurting as well. Tough love and compassionate love are in order here. Don’t forget the pastor’s family. They have felt the greatest amount of betrayal. They are humiliated and hurt. This person they likely held in high esteem has fallen hard. The family needs compassion, love, attention and counseling. Many church members do not know what to say, so they say nothing. I know one church member who sent the spouse and the children a simple handwritten note: “I have not forgotten you. I am here for you. I am praying for you.” It made all the difference in the world. Be forthright with the congregation. The rumors are often worse than reality. You don’t have to give the sor